For those of you who are reading this blog for the first time, let me explain. Last year I realized I was fat, and decided I didn’t want to be fat anymore. Not a whole lot has changed. I started this blog last year so my not so close to home bestie best twinkie friends could keep my fat ass on track. And it worked. For a while. And then I lost my job which catapulted my decline back to exactly where I started. A fat ass.
I could come up with 100 excuses. It has been a rough year. I was unemployed from May until the end of August. Matt and I broke up in August. I moved back in with my parents. I got a new job. I traveled a lot. Matt and I got back together. I moved back home. I was stressed out. I got comfortable again. I thought the exercise I was getting working at the airport was enough. It was too cold to walk or run outside. It’s embarrassing to work out at home. I was too broke to join a gym. I could go on and on. Like I said, I could come up with 100 excuses. But this all falls on me. I gave up. I lost the ambition and the drive. I got lazy. And I have gained back every pound I lost. And I look ridiculous. And I’m over it.
I am finally in a place where I am happy. I am stable. I am in love with my VERY best friend. I have two amazing children. I have a good job that I truly enjoy. Not much can bother me these days.
Until it was time to find a dress to go to my college reunion. It was then that I noticed that the clothes I got back in September are getting just a little too tight. Until I saw the picture of Dana and I on Easter, and I literally looked 8 1/2 months pregnant (don’t worry, I’m gonna post the picture so you can see, I am not exaggerating). It’s pretty bad when I take pictures with my pregnant friends, and I am bigger than they are.
I am not going to re-type all the reasons I am doing this, because they have not changed, and they are all in the very first post I put up on this blog.
There is only one thing that needs to be added. Madie is going through the same thing I am. Her piece of shit third grade teacher made them do an “About Me” project in school. They had to say their name, where they lived, what their family was like, their hobbies, and their height and weight. And I don’t have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with is said teacher then hanging those projects on the wall for everyone in the classroom to see. And Madie weighs more than any of the other girls in her class. And they started teasing her. On top of it, her Mother does not help things. She smacks Madie's tummy, and tells her to suck it in. Donna told her once, that if she didn't work out all of the time, she was going to be fat - like me. She is 9 years old, and she asked for control top panty hose for Easter. I catch her looking in the mirror, and sucking her tummy in. Granted, she is a little chubby - but she has really thinned out as she hit her growth spurt this summer. She could lay off the junk food, and eat healthier. She could get off the couch, and get outside and play. This is why Matt and I have agreed to do this AS A FAMILY.
Matt confessed that he feels he is overweight too. We had a long talk last week about me, him, Madie, and even Nate. We decided we can’t tell Madie to do something we wouldn’t do. And Nate is still so young, we could really teach him the right way to eat and exercise. Matt and I both agreed, NO MORE JUNK IN THE HOUSE. No chips, no sweets, and NO MOUNTAIN DEW. We went to the store this weekend and bought all good, fresh food. We bought bottled water instead of pop. And we agreed to take a family walk every night. And right after dinner, Matt and the kids got on their bikes, and I grabbed the dog, and we all went out together. It was actually really nice.
The problem is, I am already finding myself making excuses. There is just not enough time in the day. I am nonstop from 5 am until 9 pm, and later on the nights the kids are with their mom. There is just not enough time in the day. This again, is where my beautiful friends come into play. YELL AT ME. I deserve to take an hour out of every day to spend on myself. I deserve 60 minutes to try to become the person I want to be. I need you guys to get on me. EVERY DAY. Have you exercised? Have you cheated on your diet? Put the pizza down fatty! I need this. I need your unconditional love, and support and toughness. I have seen every single one of you ladies go the hell OFF on someone, for some reason. I need you to do that to me when I deserve it. I need tough love. Pretty please with fat free whip cream on top.
Now, I know the stats are close. But regardless, this is day one. I am starting over. So here are the stats, and the pictures. Please. Call me fat. Tell me how gross I am. Tell me I better not ever wear that swimsuit out in public. And maybe someday I can write a post saying, this is my last post. I have reached my goal weight. I am posting pictures, and look how absolutely fabulous I look.
Below the stats, I am going to paste the very first post I wrote on here. I feel it is important. If you would like to read the others, feel free to go back and read them – but the first one is the one I care about.
Ready? Set? Be skinny.
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