C25K - W3D2... BITCHES!

I have to admit, I spent most of the day yesterday crying. I held it together until Matt called, but he knows me too well, and knew something was wrong. He wouldn't let it go until I broke. Then I had a private meltdown in my car. Then I sobbed at my desk while writing yesterday afternoon's post. Then I cried again when I talked to my Mom on the way home. Maybe I needed to cry. Maybe I needed that flood and release of emotion. Maybe I needed that smack in the face. Because it changed my entire attitude.

I have always been the type of person that when you tell me I can't do something - I'll do it just to spite you. And that's pretty much what happened last night... Eventually. I stopped at the store on the way home from work. I couldn't find the exact yoga DVD that I wanted, but I did find one by the same instructor, and it had 5 workouts on it. I picked up that and a yoga mat, and headed home with every intention of just doing yoga last night. But something clicked when I got home. I just wanted to run. I didn't want to let this person get in my head, and get the better of me. I ate a banana, and took my time getting ready for the gym - to give the potassium a chance to get to my muscles.

When I got to the gym, I skipped stretching, and hopped right on the treadmill. It seems like the days I do stretch beforehand are the days I cramp up the most. I turned on my music, started the app and the treadmill, and got down to work. I ran at 5.0 on the 90 second intervals, 4.7 on the 3 minute intervals. In 28 Minutes, I did 1.64 miles, hit lap 7, and burned about 250 calories. I really need to invest in a HRM. I was so freaking proud of myself. I got a bit of a cramp for the last half of the workout, but I ran through it. I refused to quit. When I wanted to quit, I ran faster. Harder. I did it, and it felt great.

When I got home, Matt was still making dinner. He asked me to help with the macaroni, and without hesitation, I was like - "NOPE. Gonna do Yoga!" and I grabbed my shopping bags and left the room. And I LOVE it. The stretching was wonderful, but it was honestly relaxing. It was quiet, and peaceful. I had time to myself, and I really did just submit to it. When I was done, I felt centered, and rejuvenated.

And I learned something about myself. The only person stopping me is me. That has been on my homepage for a long time now... but it really sank in yesterday. Stupid, ignorant bitches are NOT going to tell me I'm too fat to run. I'M the ONLY person that can say that. I am the one that chooses to skip workouts or just get them done. I am the one that chooses what foods to put in my body- NO ONE else. I am the ONLY person that can make myself do this - and I KNOW that I can. I just keep getting in my own way for some reason! I want this. I WANT this so BAD that I dream about it. I think about it all day. I obsess over numbers and pictures and science and research. I have worked too hard for too long to give up - EVER. But there is a big difference between wanting something, and DOING something. And I'm DOING it. Each time I choose fruit over chips. Every time I choose a run over a tv show. Every time a half of a pound or a half of an inch falls off - I'M DOING IT. I don't just want it. I don't just talk about it - I'm actually DOING it.

And the people that aren't going to support me? 

Fuck 'em. 

<3 FatGirl