I decided to do two seperate posts today, since it was weigh in day. I wanted that post to be only about that - not just my ramblings. Life is in the way again. I am kinda stuck this week, and it's changing my perspective. And guess what - it all revolves around C25K. I know I mentioned earlier in the week that I was nervous about running this week. Longer intervals, same muscle issues. Then Monday happened. I didn't write about it here - so I'll catch you guys up. TOM is still visiting, and I was feeling really bad on Monday when I got home from work. I took some medicine and laid down for a nap, with every intention of getting up and going to the gym. The next thing I knew, it was midnight, and Matt was waking me up, and telling me to come to bed.
Yesterday I felt much better. I woke up and decided that I would just pack my gym bag, and head straight to the gym after work. I worked all day with my mind set I was going. Then, on the way to the gym, Matt called. Two things had popped up. One - Little Man had his basketball awards ceremony last night, which we didn't know about until 5 minutes before he called me, thanks to his lovely ex. Two - we are meeting with the priest from our church tonight. We are supposed to bring copies of his marriage certificate, and a copy of the divorce decree to show that we are able to get married in the church. He found one, but not the other. Hmmm - glad I asked him to look for this stuff last week, and he waited until yesterday. So guess what - I didn't get to the gym last night either. I did find the correct documents though - so that's a plus.
Honestly, it's probably safer that I skipped. I forgot to mention that on Monday, all I had to eat was a protein bar and a cup of coffee. And again yesterday - that's all I had before I *would* have been to the gym. I really didn't have enough fuel to work out, and even after eating and skipping my workout last night, I was still in a MAJOR defecit after two days.
Tonight, I'm already screwed. We are meeting with our preist tonight, and he can be a bit long winded, so who knows how long it will take - but just the timing of it doesn't leave me room to go to the gym before OR after, unless I go at 10 tonight. I already know I can't go tomorrow, as Lil' Miss has soccer practice for TWO AND A HALF HOURS, 30 minutes from where we live. And since we only have one car - I am SOL. Lets go ahead and jump to Friday. Friday is one of my favorite days. It is Matt AND my Dad's birthday. I get to spend the evening with the two most special men in my life. And I don't get to see my Dad that often, so there's no way I am going to miss seeing him to go to the gym.
That means week 4 is dust in the wind - and now I don't know what to do. Do I pick back up next week where I left off? Do I back track and repeat week 3? Do I quit like i've done so many times before? Here's where I'm at, and what I'm thinking. I think I want to quit C25k. I have never been good at running, and the leg issues this time are really freaking me out. Plus, since I have limited time at the gym, I don't have time to do cardio AND weight lifting. If I'm being honest with myself, I would rather lift weights. I want to lose fat. I want to build muscle. Cardio I can do at home. I can walk my dogs. I can do Zumba or the 30DS or the BBL series. I can get my cardio in without a gym membership. Once the weather starts warming up, I can start running outside again - which is the part of running I really enjoy. And there's no sense in lying. There's no way in hell I'd run outside in the cold. I don't love running THAT much, and I HATE the cold.
I keep letting the voices in my head get to me, justifiying quitting. Maybe I AM putting too much pressure on my knees/lower back with running. Maybe I SHOULD wait until I get into a healthier weight range before running like that. Maybe i'd have time to build up the muscles in my legs before starting again. It would be easier to get to the gym without a set schedule.
But at the same time, I don't want to feel like a quitter again. I think the problem with my legs can be fixed (or at least helped) with a new pair of running shoes - and part of the problem there is the money. Every extra cent we have is going towards the wedding and/or honeymoon. There's only 4 weeks of C25K left - IF I pick back up at week 4. If I stick it out for 4 more weeks, I could finally say that I was able to conquer it. So I really am stuck, and would appreciate any feedback, comments, questions, or screaming you guys may have. Annnndddd..... GO.
What if you put it on hold for right now? Don't decide anything definite...give your legs some time to heal then think about this again. No one says you HAVE to do C25K (or any cardio for that matter) So do weights when you want to do weights, walk your dogs when you want to walk them, do Zumba when you want. Working out should be fun and something you WANT to do, not something you feel you need to do.
ReplyDelete