One down, 45 more to go...

Shocking, I know... but I did it.  I really got myself worked up yesterday.  I figured out that it was actually 46 days until Easter, not 40.  So I decided to make a countdown calendar telling me how many days I had left until this is over!  I included all 46 days, but I am giving myself 6 "free" days - so I will actually do the 40 day shred. The calendar is really neat.  Not only does it show the number of days left until I reach my goal, but it also has something inspirational on each page - something different every day.  I was really excited when I left work yesterday.  On the way home though, that enthusiasm began to fade.  By the time I had hit the driveway, I was convinced I did not need to work out, since I had 6 "free" days.  I did however need to weigh in - and that was enough to get me motivated. 

At the bottom of this post you will find my 30 Day Shred Day 1 measurements.  I have to admit - I was pretty disgusted when I took them.  I have gotten back to almost exactly where I was.  I gained all but 7 pounds back, and my measurements got really close to what they used to be.  I was very upset with myself. 

And then I remembered - it's in the past!  I doesn't matter if it was six months ago.  If I focus on my failures instead of my accomplishments, I will never succeed.  I looked at my stats, and thought to myself - I will NEVER get back to where I was.  It's only onward and downward (weight-wise) from here.  I was really proud of myself.  I took a moment that normally I would beat myself up over, and turned it into something positive.  I put my shoes on, and picked up the weights and went toe to toe with Jillian. 

About halfway through, I started to feel really anxious.  I knew that Matt would be getting home soon.  I kept picturing him walking in, and seeing me jumping around my living room, and began to feel really insecure.  I was home alone, and I was worried about my shirt riding up when I was doing jumping jacks.  I kept pulling my shirt down, and pulling my pants up, and my heart was racing.  I thought I was going to have a panic attack. 

And then I remembered... Number one - Matt loves me the way I am - right now.  He doesn't care if I am skinny or not.  He loves my body just the way it is, and he tells me so all the time.  Why was I so anxious?  So maybe he would giggle at me - it wouldn't be malicious.  If he did - it wouldn't be to hurt me or to make fun of me.  That's not who he is, and it's not who we are.  Number two,  I remembered the picture I posted a few days ago on here.  The caption was - What are YOU laughing at?  I'm working out while you are sitting on your fat @ss.  And those words just fueled my fire.  I started working harder, pushing harder, and before I knew it - it was over.  And as I took my first drink of water after my cool down, I heard the door.  My love was home.  And he saw me all hot and sweaty and gross, and he told me he was proud of me.  And then I was even MORE proud of myself.  Then I finished my day by going to church, picking up dinner for Matt and myself, finishing my gallon of water (3 days in a row!), a hot shower, and going to bed early. 

It was a FANTASTIC day.  :)

One day down, 45 more to go!!!

Height: 5'10

Weight: 223.8

Waist: 46.0

Hips: 47.0

Chest: 46.0

Right Arm: 12.75

Left Arm: 13.0

Right Thigh: 28.0

Left Thigh: 27.5

Neck: 15

Water %:  43.8

Muscle:  66.0

BMI:  31.6

Body Fat %: 40.0

Goal: 160 pounds

Pounds left to Lose: 63