Weekend Update

I knew that this weekend was going to be challenging going into it.  Nathan’s birthday party.  Pizza.  Cake and Ice Cream.  Not enough time to work out.  I knew that all of these things were going to happen before they happened.  So I planned.  It didn’t work. 

Friday – I worked out as soon as I got home.  I really pushed myself, and I found that I was actually getting to the end of the exercises.  It really is getting easier every day – and that was very exciting.  I worked my ass off all evening  to get ready for Nathan’s party.  I cleaned, I scrubbed  - so much that I worked up a sweat just cleaning.  I got hungry a few times, but Matt wasn’t ready for dinner – so I snacked.  String cheese once, and raw veggies (Broccoli, Cauliflower and Carrots) another time.  Of course, once it was time to eat – Matt makes pizza rolls.  UGH!  So I made Angel hair pasta with mushrooms and shrimp.  It was VERY good.  So far so good, right?  Wait for it.....

Saturday – I had to go transfer my Driver’s License from KY to OH.  Really?  I haven’t done this yet?  I have lived in Ohio for 3 years.  But, my license is going to expire on 03/04/12 – so it had to be done.  I had to take the written exam, and present all kinds of documents in order to get my new OH license. But instead of getting up and leaving and getting it done first thing Saturday morning like I had PLANNED – I spent an hour trying to find my damn social security card.  A card that I had moved recently because I am also dedicated to getting organized this year.  I finally find it, get ready and Matt and the kids want to go with me.  I kinda freaked out a little bit.  I am thinking about the BMV, and me trying to take a test, and Nathan and Madie and Matt sitting waiting for me – and I started to stress.  I pretty much told Matt “I don’t want you there.”  I left – got half way to the BMV – and felt like such a piece of shit, I turned around and went home.  I picked Matt and the kids up – drove back to Lebanon and took my test.  I passed, go next door to get my license made and guess what – the damn machine is down.  So we leave, and head to the BMV back in Middletown.  We arrived 3 minutes after the damn place closed for the day.  I was SOOOO pissed.  The rest of the day flew by.  Shopping for Nate’s party.  More cleaning.  Wrapping presents.  Getting food ready.  Then the party.  Then bedtime, cleanup time, relax time, and bedtime.  As for food – I had planned to have enough calories left for pizza for dinner and cake for desert.  I checked everything on MFP.com first to make sure I would be okay.  Even without Jillian –which I had absolutely NO time for, I still came in under my calories for the day.  Super excited.  Still not bad...  just wait for it....

Sunday – More presents and a Birthday breakfast for my boy.  I had a banana and a cup of coffee.  Everyone else had waffles and sausage covered in butter and syrup.  I was extremely jealous.  But I held strong.  Next up, church.  This was our FIRST time going as a family when it was not a special occasion, like a wedding.  It felt great to be there with my family.  It was an amazing morning.  Then, it was shopping, then home.  We colored with Nate, did an alphabet worksheet with him, and went through his flashcards.  He did such a good job.  We played outside for about 20-30 minutes, then it was more shopping!  Hobby shop, Flower factory, Michaels and Meijer.   Then we let Nathan pick what he wanted for dinner.  Frisch’s it is.  Again, I checked MFP to make sure I would not go over my calorie count.  I had a healthy lunch, walked a TON doing all that shopping, did no late night snacking, and I drank all my water.  Still sounds okay, right?  Wait for it....

Going to bed Sunday night, I felt good about my weekend.  I had felt like crap most of the weekend.  I was cramping and bloated and felt gross.  I had some severe chest pains on Saturday night – and for a good part of the day Sunday.  While I could have eaten better, and skipped the pizza, and the cake, and gotten the salad bar instead of the sandwich, I could have done a lot worse.  I should have made time for Jillian on Saturday, and Sunday.  I felt guilty about this.  But Matt reminded me that I WAS way more active than normal for me, and I still had skip days I could use.  So I am not going to beat myself up about it.  It just means I am really going to have to buckle down for the next 41 days.  Besides working out – I accomplished every single thing I wanted to do this weekend, and for THAT – I felt great. 

This morning, I got on my scale at home, and I was excited to see the number drop.  I get to work, and THAT scale says I have GAINED 1.8 pounds!!!  WTF is that shit?  How does one scale say I have lost, and another say I have gained?  And FYI – they both said the same thing last Monday, and the Monday before that, so it’s not like they are always off.  I am really hoping that my period is having something to do with my weight this week.  Maybe because I am bloated and retaining water – the scale is reflecting that and not the true weight.  So – I took my ONE damn pass to skip weighing in.  I am so freaking pissed.  An ENTIRE week of hard work, gone. 

And that’s my motivation, Ladies and Gentlemen.  I am going to do EVERYTHING in my power to make sure that I don’t feel the way I do today next Monday.  AND, that number next week will not only be lower than what I saw today – but be lower than what I saw LAST week.  Today is my day.  NOT tomorrow.  Today.  And this week.  And this month.  And this year.  It’s all mine. 

TODAY IS MY DAY. 

*** UPDATE - I changed my mind, and weighed in with the group.  I had a gain of 1.8 pounds since the weigh in last week.  I can't hide from a bad week.  I tried and this was the result.  I have to be accountable to myself.  I will not be 224.3 pounds this time next week.  THAT my fatties, is a promise. 

<3 - The Fat Girl