I also impressed myself on the treadmill today. Not because I made any significant changes,
but because I beat myself – mentally.
Today, I was tired. It’s been
days since I’ve been to the gym (since last Thursday – and today is Tuesday). I took yesterday off for Christmas. I wanted to quit. I wanted to walk before I finished my
run. My legs hurt, and my lungs were burning,
and I wanted to rest. And I got
mad. And then I started to talk to myself.
YOU. CAN. DO.
THIS.
My body was built to do GREAT things.
I can do ANYTHING for 30 seconds… 27 seconds… 22 seconds… etc.
And then it was over.
I had kept going, and I finished. And I was smiling. I can remember so many times when I gave up
with 3 seconds left. That I quit 30
seconds into it. I have learned, and I
am training myself to push through the pain, to tell the fat girl inside me to
shut the fuck up, and to just keep moving.
And it IS paying off. Not by
crazy pounds, or tons of inches (which I am losing both), but in my body. I can literally feel my lungs getting
stronger. I can keep my breathing and my
heart rate under control. My legs are
stronger. I AM healthier – and it’s
getting better every day.
I send my husband a selfie every day when I am done working
out. He is my support, and my biggest cheerleader. And every day, he tells me I’m beautiful, and
that he is proud of me. There have been
more days than not that he was proud of me when I wasn’t proud of myself. He sees the changes that I don’t, and he
reminds me of them when I am feeling down.
He got me pretty good last week. I was having a down day, and he asked
to see my face, so I sent him yet another selfie. A few minutes later, I got a return message –
a progress picture, if you will. And the
only thing I could say in response was “Damn.”. These pictures were taken about 4 months apart.
I hadn’t noticed. But
I’m getting there. Today was a good
day.
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