I am so confused. Like - I REALLY don't know what to do - confused.
On Wednesday night, I had my first (and probably ONLY) session with a personal trainer at the gym. I told him what I have been doing, and what my goals are. I told him I wanted to eat clean(er), continue C25K, and lift heavy. We took all of my measurements and he became confused. Why did I want to lift heavy? I need to be doing resistance circuit training. He told me that I had already built up enough lean mass (I didn't know there was a magic "enough" number...), and that I needed to change it up to burn my "extra layer of love" off. And yes, he really called it that. Keep the heart rate up, lift less weight, more reps. He wanted to know how long I had been in a plateau, and what I was doing when I lost the most weight.
This is where I am both confused, and torn. What he is telling me goes against everything I have researched over the last few months. And he used the work BULK, which really bothers me. Lift heavy. Build lean muscle. Eat more to weigh less. BUT part of it makes sense, because at the time I was losing the most weight, I was doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred - which is... Resistance Circuit Training. I have gone back and forth over this for, well, the last 3 days. And here's what I've come up with.
I had only done ONE workout of the Strong Lifts 5x5. I have been lifting, either NROLFW, my own thing, or 5x5 since March, and I am not getting results. My 5k is in 3 weeks. My cruise is in 65 days. I have been gaining and losing the same 5 pounds for 6 months. What is changing my routine going to hurt? There is NO way I am going to meet my goal weight in 65 days (unless we are amputating a limb or two). I doubt I will be able to finish C25k in time for my race, since I have been stuck on week 5 for, oh, what? A month now? I have been so frustrated. Maybe it IS time for a change.
So here's the plan. I am going to continue doing C25k. I am GOING to graduate from that program, and I don't care how long it takes. And we're going back to the 30 day shred. This may actually work. First off, it will fit with my schedule better, since everything has been so crazy with the kids having soccer 4-5 days a week. 30 minutes is easier to find in my schedule than 60-90 that I usually spend at the gym (drive, tan, and workout time). On the days I can make it to the gym to run (and tan), I might throw in some extra weights - but I'm not going to beat myself up over it.
Starting Monday - It's GO time. On week days - I am going to get up early, and do it before work. That way - I have time to do C25k in the evenings at the gym, at home, or at the soccer field - whatever is available and convenient. On non-kiddos-days, maybe I can even make it to the gym for a second workout. These 30 days should take me through the end of the soccer season, and half way to my cruise. It will free up some MUCH needed time, until soccer is over. And, by then, I will have completed the program for the second time, and I will know how to spend the last 30 days before my cruise sets sail. If I get some results in the next 30 days, maybe I'll even give Ripped in 30 a shot for the last 30 days...
I know. 30 days in a row is more than I have done in the past. Getting up and working out before going to work is new for me also. And I am scared that I will not be able to do what I am telling myself to do. BUT. I keep telling myself how committed I am to this journey. We are all about to see just how committed I am. How far will I go to reach the goals I have set for myself? How far will I push my body? How committed have I really been? What am I willing to sacrifice? 30 minutes of hitting the snooze button? I CAN do that!
I have to have faith in myself. I have to put in the work, and the time, and the effort on a consistent basis, IF I want results. It's certainly not going to make things any worse. And if this doesn't work out for me, then I can go back to whatever when the 30 days is up. I can do this. I can work out every day for a measly 30 days. I can get up early for 30 days. I CAN do this.
Love - FatGirl
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