Breaking Records!

Today was a big day for me – I finally surpassed my DAY 1 excursion on the stair master.  The very first day I got on it, I went for 4.5 minutes total, while taking lots of breaks.  Today, I went 4.5 minutes before I took my first break!  I also went for 10.5 minutes total – which is only 30 seconds more, but I’m doing it.  I’m pushing myself, and I’m making gains!

I also impressed myself on the treadmill today.  Not because I made any significant changes, but because I beat myself – mentally.  Today, I was tired.  It’s been days since I’ve been to the gym (since last Thursday – and today is Tuesday).  I took yesterday off for Christmas.  I wanted to quit.  I wanted to walk before I finished my run.  My legs hurt, and my lungs were burning, and I wanted to rest.  And I got mad.  And then I started to talk to myself. 

YOU.  CAN.  DO.  THIS. 

My body was built to do GREAT things. 

I can do ANYTHING for 30 seconds… 27 seconds… 22 seconds… etc.

And then it was over.  I had kept going, and I finished.  And I was smiling.  I can remember so many times when I gave up with 3 seconds left.  That I quit 30 seconds into it.  I have learned, and I am training myself to push through the pain, to tell the fat girl inside me to shut the fuck up, and to just keep moving.  And it IS paying off.  Not by crazy pounds, or tons of inches (which I am losing both), but in my body.  I can literally feel my lungs getting stronger.  I can keep my breathing and my heart rate under control.  My legs are stronger.  I AM healthier – and it’s getting better every day. 

I send my husband a selfie every day when I am done working out.  He is my support, and my biggest cheerleader.  And every day, he tells me I’m beautiful, and that he is proud of me.  There have been more days than not that he was proud of me when I wasn’t proud of myself.  He sees the changes that I don’t, and he reminds me of them when I am feeling down.  He got me pretty good last week. I was having a down day, and he asked to see my face, so I sent him yet another selfie.  A few minutes later, I got a return message – a progress picture, if you will.  And the only thing I could say in response was “Damn.”.  These pictures were taken about 4 months apart. 

 

I hadn’t noticed.  But I’m getting there.  Today was a good day. 

 

NSV – Non-Scale Victory!!

Well, I have scale victory too – but we will get to that in a minute.  Last week, I only got to the gym twice.  I did my squats and arms every day, but a dreaded migraine hit, and I was out for the count.  As you all know – when you miss days, it makes it SO much harder to go back, and get back into a routine. 

Yesterday, I had 10 different reasons NOT to go to the gym.  I was exhausted because I only got about 4 hours of sleep the night before.  My workout buddy cancelled on me (for a good reason).  I had enough work to skip lunch altogether.  I could have gone Christmas shopping, or gone to the grocery store.  I actually thought about intentionally leaving my gym bag at home – just so I could say “oops, I forgot”. 

BUT – and here’s the NSV – I DIDN’T! I didn’t give into any of the excuses.  I put the damn bag in the truck in the morning, and I committed to going.  I told myself that even if I only walked on the treadmill, that would be better than nothing at all.  Then on the drive there – which normally takes 5-6 minutes – traffic was SHIT.  It literally took me 24 minutes to get to the gym – so my already short workout time was now MUCH shorter.  So I decided to go as hard as I could.  I hit the stair master (better cardio, better sweat, more calories for the time).  And just like last week, I surprised myself. 

I’m almost embarrassed to admit this, but this is my blog and my journey – so why not be honest about it?  I am OUT OF SHAPE.  I am still retraining my lungs from when I was a smoker.  When I first started on the stair master 3 weeks ago – I was only able to go for 4.5 minutes.  TOTAL.  And I took lots of breaks.  Each day I have gone to the gym, I have tried to stay on the machine a little bit longer, and try to go a little bit longer before I took a break, and in-between breaks.  Yesterday, I was on the treadmill for 10 minutes.  I went 3 full minutes without having to take a break.  And then, I was able to rest for about 30 seconds before going another 2 minutes before the next break.  Eventually, I will go the full 10 minutes without taking a break – and then I’ll start adding time. 

As I said last week, it isn’t much.  It’s not epic, or amazing, or impressive to anyone but me.  But again – just like last week, they are my records, and I’m beating them every day.  My lungs and my body are getting stronger.  And it is paying off – both mentally and physically.  In 4 weeks, I have lost 10.4 pounds, and 10.75 inches off my body. 

I’m proud of myself – so make that TWO NSVs this week!  

I am headed to the gym here in a few to tackle another day.  Tomorrow is rest day from the Gym – but the squat challenge is out to kill me – 145 squats tomorrow!  Till next time… 

What a difference a day makes!!

It’s amazing what can happen in just one day.  I mean, literally – AMAZING.  At least that’s how I feel today. 

 Yesterday, I was in a bummy mood.  Take one look at my post, and it’s not hard to figure out.  But I refuse to fail this time; I refuse to quit.  So I went to the gym.  I did get my workout in, but it wasn’t my best.  I felt better after I was done, but then disappointed too.  I didn’t work as hard as I could  have.  I gave up just a little too soon.  The endorphins pulled me out of my mood, and I told myself “I’ll do better tomorrow”.  And THAT, I did. 

Today, I beat my own personal records.  It’s not much, it’s not epic, or amazing, or will impress anyone, but they are my records, and I beat them.    And I am walking on air!  I feel like a rock star!!  I literally felt invincible walking out of the gym to my car today.  I am all smiles, and I am actually proud of myself. 

Yesterday, I wanted to quit.  Not for long, but the thought was there.  Today, I totally smashed it.  I pushed for 30 more seconds; one more minute; telling myself “I can do ANYTHING for 45 seconds”.  And I did.  I believed in myself.

I would say that’s a pretty sweet NSV.    

Checking in, feeling down.

I am feeling a bit down today.  Not crying, not can’t get out of bed, just down. 

I did my weigh in this morning.  I lost 1.2 pounds, and a total of 4 inches.  Normally, I would be totally stoked about that – but I’m just not.  It was also time to update my spreadsheet where I track everything, weight, measurements, BF%, BMR, etc.  My “goal weight” column needed to be updated.  I have it set up that it will pre-fill that cell with losing 2 pounds per week.  I was dumb enough to look pretty far down that list. 

IF – and that’s a big IF – I consistently lose 2 pounds per week, I won’t get under 200 pounds until June of 2017.  It will quite literally take me 6 months get to ONEderland.  That seems forever away.  Like it will never happen.  It makes what I am trying to do seem impossible in my mind.  I KNOW that isn’t true.  I KNOW that time will pass much quicker, but good god.  I had that split second where I thought to myself, I oughta just quit now. 

I KNOW last year was rough for me medically, and a lot of that affected my weight.  I switched Migraine meds more times than I can count, I went on the Depo Shot, and I quit smoking – all in the same month.  And I watched as my weight ballooned to numbers I hadn’t seen in years.  I also know I didn’t gain all the weight overnight – it’s not going away overnight.  I am just struggling with being able to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  Right now, It just looks dark. 

 I told myself, and my sounding board (Mr. Wonderful) that I NEED to focus on the one day at a time mentality.  I can’t focus on 6 months from now (or even longer – ONEderland isn’t even the goal weight – it’s just a stepping stone).  I have to make a choice every day to do this.  I can’t commit to 6 months from now.  Only today. 

 One day at a time.  And today I’ve already done my squats, and I’m headed to the gym in about 30 minutes.  Today I am making a choice to continue this journey, even though it seems impossible.  It definitely won’t happen if I quit now. 

 

It's been a while... again.

Sorry about that. 

Per usual, I did really good for a few days, and then fell off pretty quickly. Because, you know, laziness and life and stuff. 

And then, on a random Tuesday about 2 weeks ago, I started back.  I posted on Facebook that day saying "Not waiting until New Years, no more tomorrows.  Doing it today.  Doing it for Me."  And I haven't stopped.  I have REALLY been watching what I eat.  I’ve been weighing food, and measuring portions.  If we do go out, I’ve been trying to make better choices, like the salad bar, rather that the Big Boy, fries and unlimited refills on Pepsi.  I’ve been drinking ALL of my water every day. 

I’ve been to the gym at least 3 days both weeks.  I’ve been working on the stair master and the treadmill.  I’m not great at either, but I try, and I go back every time.  And every time I try to go just a little bit longer without a break, just a little bit faster, and just a little bit more time on the machines.  I am pushing myself to be better every day.  The first day, I spent 4.5 minutes on the stair master.  In that time, I climbed 15 floors.  Today, I was up to 8.5 minutes, and climbed 29 floors.  On the first day on the treadmill, I walked at 3.2mph for 20 minutes, and went exactly 1 mile.  Today – I spent 10 minutes on the treadmill doing walk/run intervals at 3.2/5.0, and traveled .64 miles.  I have been going to the gym on my lunch, so I only have a limited amount of time, but I have found that I push myself harder, because I want to get the most of the time that I do have. 

I’ve also been doing both a squat challenge, and an arm challenge, doing squats, push-ups, planks and chair dips every day.  Yesterday was my rest day from the gym, and even though I did 90 squats (yes – 90), and the arm challenge, I felt lazy for not going to the gym.  Today, I got stuck in traffic on the way there, and didn’t have as much time as usual.  I worked even harder.  I just don’t have time for excuses anymore – and even better – I’m starting to recognize when I am making excuses for myself.  I realized today on the way back to the office that I actually missed this.  I have missed working out, and the rush you feel afterwards.  It’s only been a few days, but I am already noticing changes.  And not just in my jeans.  It’s mostly been in my confidence, my overall mood, and in my sleep.  It may seem silly… but I already feel…. Healthier. 

I’m not perfect, and I know that.  THIS time, I am not setting crazy goals, or insane restrictions.  I understand that life happens.  I have just made a promise to myself to try to be better to myself.  To be a better mom, and a better wife.  And sometimes that means doing something to take care of myself.  Some days I will be more successful than others.  But one bad day does not negate all of the good days.  I am strong, and getting stronger every day – physically, mentally, and spiritually. 

I.  CAN.  DO.  THIS.