Randomness.

It's weird - it's the 17th.  It's a Tuesday.  And it's the first day of my getting back on the bandwagon. 
Since I have last been on here - I have been through quite a bit.  I know they can be excuses - and they are, but I am not perfect - and my coping mechanisms suck. 
On December 16th, 2011 - We lost Mama Debbie.  She gave up, and took her own life.  I spent a lot of time with my Heather, once she got back to KY.  I tried my best to help her cope, to help her get her Mom's affairs in order, and to get her the hell out of KY.  It was an awful, awful week.  I spent Christmas Eve cleaning out Debbie's house.  I am not sure that Christmas will ever be the same for me. 
This next part, only Matt and my Parents know about - but no one reads this anyway. 

On January 3rd, I had my well visit with my family Dr.  During my visit, Dr. Burghard found a lump in my left breast.  I had a Mammogram done the next day.  The results came back abnormal, so they did a biopsy, and some genetic testing to check for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutations.  I just got the results from the biopsy today - and still don't really have an answer. I have some abnormal cells - so I have to have another biopsy done in 6 months.  Then they can compare the results, and we will go from there.  I won't get the results of the genetic testing for about 3 more weeks.
Plus, add in the normal stress of the holidays, and birthdays, and finances, and I have been shit.  So slacking in the beginning of December turned into downright abandonment.  I ate whatever in the hell wanted, whenever the hell I wanted it, and was somehow baffled when I got on the scale and realized I had gained 11 pounds back. 
Then I get to work today.  The girls I work with have decided to do a Biggest Loser Challenge.  Everybody puts $20 bucks in the pot - we weigh in once a week, and go until Memorial Day.  Whoever has lost the largest percent of body fat by memorial day will take the pot.  So I figured, I can sit, and eat whatever in the hell I want and keep getting fatter, or I can get off my lazy ass, and have the bikini body I want by May 28th, 2012.  Hmmmm.  What to do?!?!?!
Duh.  And so it begins.  Again.