I am so aggravated with myself. I am not doing anything. I am not working out. I am not really eating right anymore. I am back to drinking Mt. Dew whenever I want. I am not keeping my food diary. I am not blogging on here. I have lost all motivation. I want to lose the weight, but I guess I want it to go away on it's own. I have talked about working out again. I have talked about eating all the right things. I have talked about doing a second round of the fruit flush diet. I have talked about starting Atkins. I have talked about doing this, and that. I do a LOT of TALKING. But last night, after I ate a half a bag of chips (not really) and an oatmeal cream pie, Matt said to me "How's the diet going?" as he laughed. I had nothing to say. I was ashamed of myself. And even as I type this, I am thinking - well this would be a stupid week to start, since it's Thanksgiving on Thursday. LAZY. LAZY. LAZY.
I feel like I am on my own. Matt is not cutting down on anything. I have no support system on here - which is one of the reasons I don't write here as often. I am supposed to weigh in for November in just 10 days. If I had stayed on track, I should weigh 190 pounds. I can tell you right now, that the only way that is going to happen is if I am in a freak accident, and they have to amputate one of my arms or something. And being that far behind does nothing for my motivation. It's like, I can never catch up, so why not put it off until the weekend, until next Monday, until next month.
I have to face facts here. I either change my ways, and DO instead of TALK, or admit that I will be the fat girl I have always been for the rest of my life.
#Supersaddiscouragedfatface
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