I did it. Yesterday, I
drank all my water. I fasted, said NO to
Halloween candy and cookies, and I worked out today. I am doing it. I am being successful. But I don’t want to talk about it. Today, this is going to take a different turn
to a different topic entirely.
Today, I want to talk about sexual assault. Scary words – I know – but these words have
been said quite a bit this summer. This
summer was the Brock Turner case. It was
election season, and the leaked Trump tapes.
It was when two different documentaries were posted on Netflix – Audrie and
Daisy, and The Hunting Grounds. I have
watched both documentaries in the last 24 hours – and I cannot be quiet.
I am sick. I am
disgusted. I am scared. I am heartbroken. Audrie and Daisy followed the story of two
young girls in entirely different parts of the country who shared a similar story. They were both sexually assaulted by boys
from school, and then were bullied mercilessly for it in person and on social
media. Audrie committed suicide. Daisy attempted suicide multiple times, but
thankfully, was not successful. Daisy’s
family was also tormented, and their house was burned down by arsonists trying
to run them out of town. These were 14
and 15 year old girls that were attacked.
FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. I have a 14
year old daughter - this could just as easily be her.
The Hunting Ground followed two survivors that have become
activists in speaking out against the lack of response to sexual assault claims
by colleges and universities nationwide.
You heard story after story of young women being attacked, reporting it,
and at best – nothing happens, and at worst – the blame is turned on the
victim. The closing statistic in the
film says that if changes are not made, 100,000 students will be sexually
assaulted in the upcoming school year.
I don’t understand these people that blame the victims. I really don’t. Put the same circumstances under any other
crime, and what would happen?
Rape – well, she was drunk and was wearing a short
skirt - what did she think was going to happen?
Robbery – well, the bank had all that money in the back –
what did they think was going to happen?
Kidnapping – well, the kid was wearing onesie footie pajama's – what did
they think was going to happen?
Murder – well, he was in the mall when that shooter walked in – what did
they think was going to happen?
You don’t blame the robbery victim for being robbed. You don’t blame the kidnapped
child for the kidnapping. You don’t
blame the murder victim for being murdered.
You blame the people that commit the crimes. THEY are the criminals – not the
victims. So why is it okay to blame the
victim when it comes to a sex crime?
We live in a society that allows this to happen. We look the other way. We change the subject. We ignore the issue. We continue to send our children to schools
that will not protect them. We watch a
judge – an elected official – tell Brock Turner that while what he did is bad –
the accusation was punishment enough.
This poor kid had a bright future, and now he’s a convicted sex offender. BOO HOO.
He fucking should be. He drug a
women behind a dumpster and assaulted her.
We continue to go to college and professional sporting events, knowing
that the players have been accused of sexual assault – some on MULTIPLE
OCCASIONS. A quick Google search showed
that there are currently 44 NFL players that have been accused of sexual
assault. WE KNOW these names and stories. Brock Turner. Jameis Winston. The Duke lacrosse players. The Baylor football team. It goes on and ON AND ON.
Part of the issue is that the majority of victims don’t
report the crimes. I am one of those
people. I didn’t report it. I didn’t tell anyone – for years. I was afraid.
I still am afraid. There are so
many people that don’t know my story – and I don’t want them to. My mom, one of my sisters, and a few of my
close friends know. My husband
knows. I still have flashbacks. I still have nightmares. And there are still people that don’t believe
me. I have dealt with it – and continue
to do so – but stories like this bring it all back. It’s all very trigger-y for me, which reminds
me that we need to do better. We need to
stand by the victims. We need to believe
them. We need to hold those responsible
for their actions. We need to do better for our children. We need others to do better for our
children.
I have 3 young beautiful women that will be heading to
college over the next 4 years – two nieces and my step-daughter. We hope the world for our kids – we want the
world to be better for them than it was for us.
I want them to go to the schools of their dreams – and get a good, quality
education in the field of their choice.
I want them to be safe on campus, and know that if anything (God forbid)
ever happens – that they will be taken care of.
That schools and law enforcement do right by them and their peers. We cannot remain quiet. We cannot allow this to continue. There are currently over 100 schools that are
under investigation for Title IX violations.
There are 5 schools in the State of Ohio alone. This isn’t something that is happening
somewhere else. It is happening right
here - In our schools, to our daughters, sisters, mothers, co-workers, friends
and the quiet lady at the coffee shop who doesn’t talk much. It’s everywhere – and it has to stop.
Stealing from The Hunting Ground – To learn how you can
support survivors, help pass legislation, and hold schools accountable, go to
SeeActStop.org, or ItsOnUs.org.
My name is Rebecca Chupka, and I am a SURVIVOR of sexual
assault.
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