It's a Case of the Monday's...

It's Monday - so we are already not off to a good start.  I hate Mondays.  I literally LOATHE Mondays.  So for the Biggest Loser competition here at work, guess what day they chose as weigh in day.  MONDAY!  Great.  One more reason for me to hate Mondays.  Especially today.  After having a loss last week, I was extremely disappointed to get on the scale today only to realize I had gained 2.6 pounds.  That's more that I wanted to lose per week. 

And so I sat and sulked.  How did I gain weight?  I can't believe I gained!!!  Something must be wrong with this scale.  I KNOW that can't be right.  It just can't. 

And as I sat and sulked, the little horrific devil on my shoulder started whispering to me...  "Maybe its because you didn't work out", "Well you did eat all those cream pies and cookies last week", "Or, it could have been the chips and the Mt. Dew, and the pizza, and french fries, and ribs".

Damn Devil.

Except it's not the Devil.  These are the choices that I made this week.  I have fallen back on all of my old habits.  I chose not to work out.  I chose to eat like I have the body of a supermodel and the metabolism of a toddler.  I would say that I chose to make excuses, but I didn't even make excuses.  I did it because I felt like it.  Another cream pie?  SURE - why the hell not?  A few more chips?  Screw it!  Eat the whole bag. 

I am so UN motivated to do this.  I really can't get into it, and I am not sure why.  I just want the weight to go away on it's own.  Can someone find me a diet where I lose 5 pounds for every bag of Dorito's I eat?

Sooooo Discouraged - and yet, still highly un-motivated. 

Not sure if I am going to do Atkins now...

With doing this Biggest Loser competition at work, a lot of the girls are doing Atkins, and are producing some impressive numbers.  I was planning on starting the induction phase of Atkins on this coming Monday.  I signed up on Atkins website, and they sent me some free stuff in the mail.  They even sent me a few free samples of their Atkins meal bars. 

I thought I would try a few out this week, so that I knew which ones I liked, and which ones I didn't, so that I could buy more when I went to the store this weekend.  I had one for breakfast at work yesterday.  The chocolate chip crisp bar smelled kinda funny, and tasted a little off, but I thought it was just because it was "diet" food.  I was wrong.  It had coconut in it, which I am allergic to.  I ended up having an anaphallactyc reaction to it, and had to leave work to get home to my EPI pen. 

I think it's a sign.  The very first Atkins related product I have ever eaten in my whole life, tried to kill me.  No, Thank YOU Atkins.  Back to low fat, low calorie diet. 

Time for change

So I moved my blog to this location, and changed the name. Number one, no one ever read the old version. Number two, as I become more involved in MyFitnessPal.com, people started asking me to write a blog- well, a book actually. And it got me thinking, while I am making all of these life long changes- why the hell not? I have moved all my posts from the old blog to this one (this is currently under construction). The new plan is to write for myself on here, and my favorite posts, I will add to my blog on MFP.com.

So, today... We had our first weigh in for the Biggest Loser contest at work. I lost 4.7 pounds. This was a big accomplishment for me. In just 7 day, I doubled what I normally lose per week. And low and behold... I am motivated again. Funny how that happens.

The goal now is to continue on my journey, continue becoming the best version of myself, and maybe write a best selling book along the way. :)

Randomness.

It's weird - it's the 17th.  It's a Tuesday.  And it's the first day of my getting back on the bandwagon. 
Since I have last been on here - I have been through quite a bit.  I know they can be excuses - and they are, but I am not perfect - and my coping mechanisms suck. 
On December 16th, 2011 - We lost Mama Debbie.  She gave up, and took her own life.  I spent a lot of time with my Heather, once she got back to KY.  I tried my best to help her cope, to help her get her Mom's affairs in order, and to get her the hell out of KY.  It was an awful, awful week.  I spent Christmas Eve cleaning out Debbie's house.  I am not sure that Christmas will ever be the same for me. 
This next part, only Matt and my Parents know about - but no one reads this anyway. 

On January 3rd, I had my well visit with my family Dr.  During my visit, Dr. Burghard found a lump in my left breast.  I had a Mammogram done the next day.  The results came back abnormal, so they did a biopsy, and some genetic testing to check for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 mutations.  I just got the results from the biopsy today - and still don't really have an answer. I have some abnormal cells - so I have to have another biopsy done in 6 months.  Then they can compare the results, and we will go from there.  I won't get the results of the genetic testing for about 3 more weeks.
Plus, add in the normal stress of the holidays, and birthdays, and finances, and I have been shit.  So slacking in the beginning of December turned into downright abandonment.  I ate whatever in the hell wanted, whenever the hell I wanted it, and was somehow baffled when I got on the scale and realized I had gained 11 pounds back. 
Then I get to work today.  The girls I work with have decided to do a Biggest Loser Challenge.  Everybody puts $20 bucks in the pot - we weigh in once a week, and go until Memorial Day.  Whoever has lost the largest percent of body fat by memorial day will take the pot.  So I figured, I can sit, and eat whatever in the hell I want and keep getting fatter, or I can get off my lazy ass, and have the bikini body I want by May 28th, 2012.  Hmmmm.  What to do?!?!?!
Duh.  And so it begins.  Again.