So - Tomorrow is weigh in day - and it ain't gonna be pretty.   I know I have not met my goal for this month - but I am excusing myself.  Between being sick, and Dad's heart attack - I am lucky I didn't gain any weight this month.

But that is tomorrow's post. 

I was transferring some pictures from my computer to my external hard-drive, so I can print some pictures out, and I came across a picture I mentioned in one of my first posts.  The picture of me looking 9 months prego with Dana on Easter of this year.  I decided I would post it today - as incentive.  So I can look at it, and know that if I don't get back on my game ASAP... I am going to turn into the fat ass in the picture again.  Please, taunt me.  It's grotesque.  And Scary.  And on that note, HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Struggling

I am seriously struggling.  I had heard about plateus - but damn!  I am still sitting where I was at the weigh in at the beginning of the month.  I have not lost a pound.  I am not doing anything different.  I am still eating right.  I started Jillian again.  I have been using myfitnesspal.com for a while now.  I still track my food everyday - every snack - every meal.  I track my exercises.  When I hit my goal on my weigh in at the beginning of the month - the website prompted me to update my fitness goals.  My weight had changed so much, that if I kept eating the same amount of calories/fat/etc - I would not lose any weight.  So it recalculated.  I lost about 250 calories a day - the rest went down too, but I am not sure by how much.  I have stuck to the new calorie count.  And NOTHING.  I am so discouraged, I am ready to give up.  But that is the old me.  That is the Fat, Lazy Becky talking.  That is the Becky that would eat a whole bag of Doritos because she was sad, or stressed, or for god's sake, was just bored.  I got away from her.  I didn't like her then, and I am sure I would detest her even more now. 

So here is what I am going to do.  It's time for a change - well, a few changes.  First, I am going to do the Fruit flush again.  It helped to kickstart me the first round, why not give it a shot again?  Second, I am stepping up to the next level on my Jillian tapes.  Maybe some different exercises will help.  Third - I need to cut out the carbs.  I love carbs.  I could literally live on bread and pasta - but I am sure that is why I look and feel the way I do.  Gotta go.  Fourth - I need to start writing here again every day.  When I kept up with this, I was succeeding.  I was proud, and had something to write everyday.  I have noticed that my posts on here have REALLY fell off, especially since Oct 1st.

I am embarassed of my stalling out.  I can't explain it.  I really don't know why, and it's frustrating.  It's hard to get on here an say "Hey!  I ate everything I was supposed to, and drank all my water, and Jillian Kicked my ass - and guess what?!?!  I still weigh the same damn thing!!!"  I feel like a failure.  And I don't want to feel like that.  I want to prove to myself more than anyone else that I CAN do this.  I think about this stuff all the time.  I just don't write, because no one ever reads this but me.  And I know this, because I have a handy little tracker on my home page that tells me how many views I get each day, and where they come from.  No one has even looked at my weigh in from Oct.1st.  When I started this, I asked for support.  I asked for my girls to help keep me on track.  Krista is the only one that ever even asks me how it's going.  No calls, no posts, no texts - no support.  And before anyone reads this and gets offended - let me say this.  I understand everyone is busy.  I know everyone has lives, and families, and friends, and jobs, and cleaning and cooking, and showers to take and everything.  TRUST ME, I am aware.  I was just trying to explain why I don't post as much.  I just had the thought that, If I am the only one reading this - then what's the point.  I know what is in my head, what my thoughts and dreams are - without writing it down here.  So - Why write? 

The answer I came up with?  I didn't.  I don't know why I continue.  But I am. 

So - See ya tomorrow.

Brick walls hurt.

How does one hit a wall soooo quickly?  So here's the skinny.  As you guys know, I weigh myself on a daily basis.  I wake up, I go to the bathroom, I get on the scale.  Every day.  Never changes.  Including the number on the scale. 

Since I weighed in on the first, I have gone up to 211.  And stayed there.  Every day.  The ounces vary from day to day, but not that 211.  It won't move.  How have I hit a plateau this early in the game?  I have not changed my eating habits.  I am doing the same amount of exercise.  And here we are, 13 days into the month (I should be down to 206 by now) - and I have gotten NOWHERE.  In fact, I gained a pound and a half, and decided to stay there. 

I was not planning on working out until November - but I feel now that if I don't get to it, I am going to pay for it later.  I know how I am.  I will keep my goals the same for next month.  So if I don't lose the 10 lbs this month, I will try to lose 20 next month to keep on track.  And that means not being healthy.  And I don't want that. 

I just don't understand how my body would just quit working and doing what it has been doing.

God love Heather Jo and her quotes. 

"The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people!"

#NotHavinIt. 

Weigh In Day!

The results are in!!!

Age: 28 Years old
Height: 5'10

Weight: 209.4

Waist: 43

Hips: 46.5

Chest: 44.5

Right Arm: 13

Left Arm: 12.5

Right Thigh: 25

Left Thigh: 24

Neck:  14.5

Body Fat %: 39.1

Water %:  44.4

Muscle:  63.8

BMI:  29.8

Number of pounds lost: 10.8
Number of inches lost: 2.75
Percentage of Body Fat lost: 4.4%
Goal: 170 pounds
Pounds left to Lose: 39.4



I did it!!!  I lost the 10 Lbs I wanted to, and then some!  I did not see the inches fall away like I would have liked to, but thats what I get for not working out religously.  Note to self.  There are a few other things that I keep track of in MY record that I think I am going to start adding to this chart.  Not only did I lose 10.8 Lbs, I also lost a few BMI points.  I came in at 29.8 - and for the first time since probably 2002-2003, I am out of the "obese category"!  According to medical standards, now I am just overweight!!!  I gained 4.4 pounds of muscle, and lost a lot of PURE FAT!  Oh - and this months pictures are coming soon!!! 

So, just so I can write this down some where, as of this weigh in, I have met 34% of my weight loss goals!!!  :)