We Interrupt your regularly scheduled programming....

I did it.  Yesterday, I drank all my water.  I fasted, said NO to Halloween candy and cookies, and I worked out today.  I am doing it.  I am being successful.  But I don’t want to talk about it.  Today, this is going to take a different turn to a different topic entirely. 

 

Today, I want to talk about sexual assault.  Scary words – I know – but these words have been said quite a bit this summer.  This summer was the Brock Turner case.  It was election season, and the leaked Trump tapes.  It was when two different documentaries were posted on Netflix – Audrie and Daisy, and The Hunting Grounds.  I have watched both documentaries in the last 24 hours – and I cannot be quiet. 

 

I am sick.  I am disgusted.  I am scared.  I am heartbroken.  Audrie and Daisy followed the story of two young girls in entirely different parts of the country who shared a similar story.  They were both sexually assaulted by boys from school, and then were bullied mercilessly for it in person and on social media.  Audrie committed suicide.  Daisy attempted suicide multiple times, but thankfully, was not successful.  Daisy’s family was also tormented, and their house was burned down by arsonists trying to run them out of town.  These were 14 and 15 year old girls that were attacked.  FOURTEEN YEARS OLD.  I have a 14 year old daughter - this could just as easily be her. 

 

The Hunting Ground followed two survivors that have become activists in speaking out against the lack of response to sexual assault claims by colleges and universities nationwide.  You heard story after story of young women being attacked, reporting it, and at best – nothing happens, and at worst – the blame is turned on the victim.  The closing statistic in the film says that if changes are not made, 100,000 students will be sexually assaulted in the upcoming school year. 

 

I don’t understand these people that blame the victims.  I really don’t.  Put the same circumstances under any other crime, and what would happen? 

 

Rape – well, she was drunk and was wearing a short skirt - what did she think was going to happen?   

Robbery – well, the bank had all that money in the back – what did they think was going to happen?

Kidnapping – well, the kid was wearing onesie footie pajama's – what did they think was going to happen?

Murder – well, he was in the mall when that shooter walked in – what did they think was going to happen?

 

You don’t blame the robbery victim for being robbed.  You don’t blame the kidnapped child for the kidnapping.  You don’t blame the murder victim for being murdered.  You blame the people that commit the crimes.  THEY are the criminals – not the victims.  So why is it okay to blame the victim when it comes to a sex crime?

 

We live in a society that allows this to happen.  We look the other way.  We change the subject.  We ignore the issue.  We continue to send our children to schools that will not protect them.  We watch a judge – an elected official – tell Brock Turner that while what he did is bad – the accusation was punishment enough.  This poor kid had a bright future, and now he’s a convicted sex offender.  BOO HOO.  He fucking should be.  He drug a women behind a dumpster and assaulted her.  We continue to go to college and professional sporting events, knowing that the players have been accused of sexual assault – some on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS.  A quick Google search showed that there are currently 44 NFL players that have been accused of sexual assault.  WE KNOW these names and stories.  Brock Turner.  Jameis Winston.  The Duke lacrosse players.  The Baylor football team.  It goes on and ON  AND ON. 

 

Part of the issue is that the majority of victims don’t report the crimes.  I am one of those people.  I didn’t report it.  I didn’t tell anyone – for years.  I was afraid.  I still am afraid.  There are so many people that don’t know my story – and I don’t want them to.  My mom, one of my sisters, and a few of my close friends know.  My husband knows.  I still have flashbacks.  I still have nightmares.  And there are still people that don’t believe me.  I have dealt with it – and continue to do so – but stories like this bring it all back.  It’s all very trigger-y for me, which reminds me that we need to do better.  We need to stand by the victims.  We need to believe them.  We need to hold those responsible for their actions. We need to do better for our children.  We need others to do better for our children. 

 

I have 3 young beautiful women that will be heading to college over the next 4 years – two nieces and my step-daughter.  We hope the world for our kids – we want the world to be better for them than it was for us.  I want them to go to the schools of their dreams – and get a good, quality education in the field of their choice.  I want them to be safe on campus, and know that if anything (God forbid) ever happens – that they will be taken care of.  That schools and law enforcement do right by them and their peers.  We cannot remain quiet.  We cannot allow this to continue.  There are currently over 100 schools that are under investigation for Title IX violations.  There are 5 schools in the State of Ohio alone.  This isn’t something that is happening somewhere else.  It is happening right here - In our schools, to our daughters, sisters, mothers, co-workers, friends and the quiet lady at the coffee shop who doesn’t talk much.  It’s everywhere – and it has to stop. 

 

Stealing from The Hunting Ground – To learn how you can support survivors, help pass legislation, and hold schools accountable, go to SeeActStop.org, or ItsOnUs.org.

 

My name is Rebecca Chupka, and I am a SURVIVOR of sexual assault. 

Day One of the "Forever" Challenge.

I hate her. 

I ask her what kind of Challenge we are doing - and she says forever.  REALLY?  I'm having issues with a week a time - and she wants to call it Forever.  She, by the way, would be Shelby.  She is my partner in crime on this little journey - so you'll be hearing about her more often.  Welcome to the party. 

I don't like the "Forever Challenge"... so it will be re-named, as soon as I am witty enough to come up with a name. 

I weighed in this morning at 255.8.  I took my measurements, and have been drinking my water.  Today is a fast day - so I get about 500 calories today.  I am going to the store on lunch today - pick up water, food for the next few days, a jump rope and some new work out clothes - plus I will be walking around the store rather than eating. 

I REALLY am going to try to do better...  Below are the goals I have set for myself for this week (Just a reminder). 

 

1.)    Take “Before” Pictures

2.)    Weigh in each Monday morning and take measurements.

3.)    Work out 3 days each week for at least 30 minutes

4.)    Fast 2 days of each week for the next 4 weeks

5.)    NO eating out for lunch during the work week

6.)    Stay within calorie target of 1850 to 2100

Here WE GO!

 

A Year From Now...

Well – guess what.  Here I am again, with ZERO news to report.  I was so excited the day I wrote my last post, and then… nothing.  Literally nothing.  I haven’t counted calories once.  I haven’t worked out once.  I did weigh myself, and that made me want to eat my feelings. 

 

And so here we are, a month later, and another 2 pounds heavier.  I am so disgusted and frustrated with myself – but I’m here.  I have a friend at work who feels the same, and is ready to do something about it.  We are going to do this together – we’re going to be Workout/weight loss buddies.  Someone to commiserate with, to work-out with, to keep me accountable, and I’ll be that person for her. 

 

We have decide to start on Monday.  I am also going to go back to the 5:2.  We agreed we would work out 3 days a week together, pack everyday (so we wouldn’t be tempted to go out to eat with someone else) and be available for moments of weakness via text.  We also agreed to commit to at least 30 days – as that is supposedly the length of time it takes to form a new habit. 

 

The only thing that I am adding to that at this point, is to write it down.  I will write it  here, but I am also writing it down to have copies hanging at my desk at work, and on the fridge at home.  I read that if you write your goals down, you are 50% more likely to achieve them than someone who doesn’t write them down.  So here they are:

 

1.)    Take “Before” Pictures

2.)    Weigh in each Monday morning and take measurements.

3.)    Work out 3 days each week for at least 30 minutes

4.)    Fast 2 days of each week for the next 4 weeks

5.)    NO eating out for lunch during the work week

6.)    Stay within calorie target of 1850 to 2100

 

I have been doing this for too long.  I have been fighting this battle for too long.  For TOO MANY years, I have looked to a quote for inspiration.  It really resonates with me - because it is so true. I know that from the many years I have been fighting.  "A year from now, you'll wish you started today".  I wish I stuck to it 8 years ago - 5 years ago - a year ago, 6 months ago, last month.  I wish I had done it differently.  I wish I had stuck to it - stuck with it.  I wish I had believed in myself more, thought more of myself and my worth. 

 

So here we are again - and maybe this time next year, I won't have to wish I had already started.