I know I am beating a dead horse here. Two posts in one day on the same damn topic. I am sinking, and sinking fast.
Matt just asked me what was wrong. I sent him a message saying, long story short, I weigh the same today as I did in March. I told him that I am disgusted with myself. That I need to make a decision. That I need to either give 100%, or give up.
He told me NO way. 100%, and he would help me.
The only response I can think of? I just don't think I have it in me anymore.
This might be the last of the FatGirl...
I am sorry you are having such a shitty Monday. But I will tell you this, from another fat girl, sure you may be the same weight as March but for that you should be proud. YOU'RE DOWN 70 pounds an haven't gained all of that back, correct? You're still at it even though you're feeling defeated, correct? You didn't give up on the Color Run as completed it in less time than you wanted? I'M PROUD OF YOU! Fuck. The. Numbers. Ok, you won't be at your ideal weight and in a bikini, that sucks. However, after everything you've gone through up to this point that cruise should still be your focus. Something to focus on as a celebration for where you are and where you hope to be after then. Keep your chin up! Don't give up! And when the Fat Girl starts weaseling her thoughts to the forefront, look her in the eyes (in the mirror? Yelling at her here?) and say "You are not who I want to be anymore!". Easier said than done I know, but that witch can eventually be defeated.
ReplyDelete