Hey you. Yes you. The FatGirl staring at me. I see you. Can you see me? I see the way you look at yourself. I see the pain. The frustration. The disappointment. The shame. The pure HATE you hold in your heart. I can see you.
I can see in your eyes everything you've done, and I know what you want. I know every calorie you've counted, every calorie you "forgot", every lunge you've taken, every mile you've ran. I know every cheat you've taken, and every excuse you've made. I know every second you've spent obsessing, every minute spent researching, every hour spent imagining. I know.
I have felt in your heart every beat of fear; every pitter-patter of pride, and every cracking break of defeat. I know the breath in your lungs, and the length of your stride. I know about the sleepless nights, and the mornings slept in. I know every thought in your head; every wretched memory, every hopeful dream, and every self-loathing reality.
I know the disgusted looks you've been given. I know the horrible words whispered in your ear. I know the jokes that have been told about you. I know every scar on your heart. I know your dreams. I know your insecurities. I know your fear, your hate, and your lack of faith.
I can feel you giving up. I can feel you losing hope, and talking yourself into quitting. I know you think you are lazy. I also know that you know better. Laziness, and a lack of faith in yourself are not the same thing.
You would get up and workout if you KNEW with 100% of your heart that it would work this time. You would stop sabotaging yourself if you KNEW with 100% certainty that things would change. Laziness is knowing those things, and not doing anything about it.
Here's the difference in what you know, and what you BELIEVE. You know that it's going to work - if you put in the work. You know that you are capable of this. You've been there before. But the belief in yourself is missing - and THAT is what is stopping you. You know you CAN do this - but the years of teasing, and mocking, and dirty looks, and horrible jokes, and the crying, and the self-loathing, and using food as a coping mechanism - has you doubting yourself.
I believe in you. Your husband and children believe in you. Your parents believe in you. Your friends believe in you. Even strangers believe in you. Why? Because you have done everything you need to - to get the job done. You have talked a big game, and the only one that doubts you can do it - is YOU.
I know you better than you know yourself. I remember all the things you don't. I remember every time you made the right choice. I remember every time you did it, when you didn't want to. I remember every time you've proved everyone else wrong. I remember everyone else's words of faith, belief, and motivation. I remember every goal you’ve set, every task you’ve conquered, every time you’ve proved yourself wrong.
What you don’t know is – I have had every experience with you. I AM you. I am your reflection, your mirror image, the person you long to be. I am the FitChick inside. I am the skinny girl banging your head – raging inside to come out. I have been here all along. I am your personal cheerleader, the high five you get when working out alone. I am the courage you have to stand up to your haters. I am the sparkle in your eye you saw when that third chin disappeared. I was the tears you cried when you fit into those jeans at the Gap. I was the voice in your head on Saturday at the race telling you to go just ONE more block. I am the butterflies in your stomach when he tells you how beautiful you are. And I am getting stronger.
I am you. I am inside. I am every breath, every heartbeat, every muscle cramp, and every craving. I am here, and I’m not leaving. I am your constant reminder of what you want.
Ever notice that I don’t go away? Every time you quit – I am still in your head telling you what you need to hear. It’s time. I’ve had enough. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I am always here, and I will NEVER go away. I will continue to scream and fight until I succeed. I know eating right and working out is hard. But being fat and hating yourself is hard too. Which hard do we want?
So it didn’t happen like we planned. Things not happening fast enough? Results not showing quick enough? BOO FUCKING HOO. Who’s fault is that? It’s yours. Because you believe what you have been told your entire life. You believe you are the FatGirl that people have been mocking since the 3rd grade. And you don’t believe in ME. You don’t believe there is a skinny girl inside literally DYING to come out.
Are you tired of starting over? THEN QUIT GIVING UP. You CAN do this. And I won't shut up until you do. I’m here – and I’m not going anywhere.
<3 – The SkinnyGirl
I can see in your eyes everything you've done, and I know what you want. I know every calorie you've counted, every calorie you "forgot", every lunge you've taken, every mile you've ran. I know every cheat you've taken, and every excuse you've made. I know every second you've spent obsessing, every minute spent researching, every hour spent imagining. I know.
I have felt in your heart every beat of fear; every pitter-patter of pride, and every cracking break of defeat. I know the breath in your lungs, and the length of your stride. I know about the sleepless nights, and the mornings slept in. I know every thought in your head; every wretched memory, every hopeful dream, and every self-loathing reality.
I know the disgusted looks you've been given. I know the horrible words whispered in your ear. I know the jokes that have been told about you. I know every scar on your heart. I know your dreams. I know your insecurities. I know your fear, your hate, and your lack of faith.
I can feel you giving up. I can feel you losing hope, and talking yourself into quitting. I know you think you are lazy. I also know that you know better. Laziness, and a lack of faith in yourself are not the same thing.
You would get up and workout if you KNEW with 100% of your heart that it would work this time. You would stop sabotaging yourself if you KNEW with 100% certainty that things would change. Laziness is knowing those things, and not doing anything about it.
Here's the difference in what you know, and what you BELIEVE. You know that it's going to work - if you put in the work. You know that you are capable of this. You've been there before. But the belief in yourself is missing - and THAT is what is stopping you. You know you CAN do this - but the years of teasing, and mocking, and dirty looks, and horrible jokes, and the crying, and the self-loathing, and using food as a coping mechanism - has you doubting yourself.
I believe in you. Your husband and children believe in you. Your parents believe in you. Your friends believe in you. Even strangers believe in you. Why? Because you have done everything you need to - to get the job done. You have talked a big game, and the only one that doubts you can do it - is YOU.
I know you better than you know yourself. I remember all the things you don't. I remember every time you made the right choice. I remember every time you did it, when you didn't want to. I remember every time you've proved everyone else wrong. I remember everyone else's words of faith, belief, and motivation. I remember every goal you’ve set, every task you’ve conquered, every time you’ve proved yourself wrong.
What you don’t know is – I have had every experience with you. I AM you. I am your reflection, your mirror image, the person you long to be. I am the FitChick inside. I am the skinny girl banging your head – raging inside to come out. I have been here all along. I am your personal cheerleader, the high five you get when working out alone. I am the courage you have to stand up to your haters. I am the sparkle in your eye you saw when that third chin disappeared. I was the tears you cried when you fit into those jeans at the Gap. I was the voice in your head on Saturday at the race telling you to go just ONE more block. I am the butterflies in your stomach when he tells you how beautiful you are. And I am getting stronger.
I am you. I am inside. I am every breath, every heartbeat, every muscle cramp, and every craving. I am here, and I’m not leaving. I am your constant reminder of what you want.
Ever notice that I don’t go away? Every time you quit – I am still in your head telling you what you need to hear. It’s time. I’ve had enough. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I am always here, and I will NEVER go away. I will continue to scream and fight until I succeed. I know eating right and working out is hard. But being fat and hating yourself is hard too. Which hard do we want?
So it didn’t happen like we planned. Things not happening fast enough? Results not showing quick enough? BOO FUCKING HOO. Who’s fault is that? It’s yours. Because you believe what you have been told your entire life. You believe you are the FatGirl that people have been mocking since the 3rd grade. And you don’t believe in ME. You don’t believe there is a skinny girl inside literally DYING to come out.
Are you tired of starting over? THEN QUIT GIVING UP. You CAN do this. And I won't shut up until you do. I’m here – and I’m not going anywhere.
<3 – The SkinnyGirl
Awesome, I love it. YELL AT HER!!! :)
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