No, I'm not dead...

I know, I know.  It’s been a while.  I was OUT of commission all last week.  Monday night (going into Tuesday) I woke up with another damn kidney stone at 3 in the morning.  I had worked out Monday night, and thought for just a few hours that maybe, just maybe, I had pulled something in my back.  Of course, I’m not so lucky.  Nope, full blown stone.  And this time, it took me 6 DAMN DAYS to pass!  I didn’t get rid of it until Sunday night.  I was an absolutely awful week.  So needless to say, I didn’t get a whole lot (okay, ANY) exercise in.  Not to mention a NON balanced diet, as the only time I ate was when Matt force fed me at night after he found out I had not eaten anything all day.  And to top it all off, the batteries in my scale died, so I have NO idea how much I weigh right now. 

They do have scales at the gym, but I have decided to use this no digital scale thing to my advantage.  I decided that I am not going to weigh in again until Stage 1 of NROLFW is done.  Then I will weigh in, re-measure, take updated progress pictures, and fill all you fatties in on how AMAZING I am doing.  #crossesfingers  I refuse to be ecstatic one day, and then depressed the next based off of a few numbers….  I am so tired of the rollercoaster ride – so I’m putting a stop to it.  For 6 weeks, anyway. 

Due to my lack of activity last week, and figuring out I have some fantastically HORRIBLE form while squatting, I decided to start both the C25K and NROLFW programs from the beginning.  The countdown clock is running out – we are T- minus 6 months and however many days until I set sail on the first cruise of my life, and my first romantic vacation with the man of my dreams.  It’s time to get serious.  Well, I’ve been serious, but allowing myself *probably* more than I should….  And I am not stupid enough to say it’s not going to happen again.  I am more realistic than that.  But not eating last week let me think that I could eat all of my calories in one sitting at 10 at night.  Not quite sure why I thought that was okay.  Must have been the Percocet eating, and not me.  ;) I had the best of intentions Monday – but my weights fell to the wayside.  I skipped.  Tuesday, I decided to lift, and lift heavy.  Then I decided to run the C25K on the treadmill while I was there, since it was “running” night anyway.  Then Wednesday, I ran at home with Harley.  She quit before I did (#patsselfonback), but it was a LOT harder than running on the treadmill.  I figured out just how much harder yesterday morning.  I was in actual pain.  In my shoulders/arms/chest area, and then for some reason, my left calve muscle, and my right quadricep.  Oh my holy hell.  I asked about being sore vs. actual muscle fatigue yesterday, and got polar opposite answers.  By the time I got home from work, I wanted to go to the gym.  I went inside and got ready to go.  When I got back to the garage, Matt saw me stretching my legs out, and told me I needed to give it a rest.  And he was right. 

I had been fighting myself all day.  I knew I had over done it.  I knew that my body needed a break.  But I felt guilty about skipping another night after skipping Monday.  But just hearing him say it was enough to bring me back down to earth.  I had pushed and worked myself hard, and allowing myself to recover was earned!  And I feel great today!  I’m still a bit sore, but it’s the right *kind* of sore.  It’s not pain.  So It’s back to the gym tonight, and running with my dog tomorrow.  Woot woot!!!

Luckily, when I go to the gym tonight, I have my very own copy of NROLFW to take with me.  Oh no, it’s not what you think.  It’s my weekly dose of Karma.  I decided, that since I am so indecisive, I would borrow the book from the library, instead of purchasing my own copy.  That way, if I didn’t like it or it wasn’t working, I wasn’t stuck with a book I’d never read.  Well, I LOVE it.  So much that I decided to photocopy all of the pages I wanted.  Before I knew what had happened, I had probably copied 50% of the book.  I went home, got all the library books together from Madie and Nathan’s rooms, and stacked them all in the Kitchen.  We would return them the next night to the library.  Yeah. 

I wake up the next morning, and there, on my kitchen floor is the NROLFW book.  Along with entire stack of copies.  All over the place.  In a million pieces, with teeth marks, and English Mastiff drool.  Yep.  Lexi ATE the damn book.  She ate the cover, and I’d say about the first 20 pages of the book.  It was completely destroyed.  I was so pissed, until I realized I deserved it.  No, of course she wouldn’t eat a book that I actually own.  She is going to grab a LIBRARY book off of my kitchen counter and eat it.  Karma apparently disagrees with trying to get a free copy of a book.  So NOW, the Middletown Public Library has a BRAND NEW copy of NROLFW – and I have a half-eaten copy.  And you should have seen the lady at the library.  I walked in an told her I needed to replace the book – and when she asked why, before I could think of a better lie, I told her my dog ate it.  I felt like I was in third grade again with the look she gave me. 

And yes, this is my real life.  On a more serious note…

The longer I go through this process, the more I learn.  I learn more about myself, and my body every day.  I am learning more about fitness and nutrition every day.   And I am learning about humanity, directly through MFP (I have to say, I think I am MORE addicted to MFP than I am to Facebook).  Every day on that site I see the very best in complete strangers; Congratulating each other on small accomplishments, encouraging each other on “off” days, supporting each other through the “Oh my God, I’m a cow” days, teaching each other about being healthy - mentally, physically, and emotionally.

And then there are the ass-hats (one of my new favorite words, thank you MFP).  I got into a fight with some stranger the other day who was making fun of smokers that were trying to lose weight.  Others followed suit and just started saying some awful things.  Well, you kids know my red-headed temper.  I went the FUCK off.  In the process, I lost a few “Pals”.  But, more importantly, I met a whole lot of other new Pals.  And for some of those new pals – this is the very first FatGirl post they are reading.  So welcome, fellow fatties.  You have NO idea what you just signed up for….  MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

Okay, that was kinda gay.  Sorry.

<3, the FatGirl