Happy Anniversary to me!!

So today is the one year anniversary of my quitting smoking.  A WHOLE YEAR. 

It’s not even hard.  Yes – there are some days that I dream about smoking (usually when I have a migraine) – but for the most part – it’s like I never smoked in my life.  And while I am SO SUPER PROUD of myself – it came with a glaring price – a whopping 22 pounds. 

That’s right.  I gained 22 pounds since this day last year.  There may have been other contributing factors – change in birth control, change in migraine meds, lack of diet, exercise, and discipline – but 22 pounds nonetheless. 

So while I’m in a good mood – I think I’ll keep this anniversary/momentum/success thing going – and try to start again today to get my weight under control.  I fell off the 5:2 thing a while ago – I don’t really even know how or why – I just kinda stopped doing it.  I got on a kick where I was going to the gym a few days a week on my lunch break – and that fell off too.  I had a week of migraines, and then… well.  You know.  I try to drink water for the most part – but I have started keeping Diet Dr. Pepper in the house for when I just HAVE to have something. 

I’m there.  I want to – I’m aware of it.  I think about doing it all the right way – and I just make the wrong choices – because it’s easy to make the wrong choice.  Today is an acknowledgement of that.  I make the wrong choices, and I make excuses, and I know that I am doing it when I do it.  And it’s time to stop – or start – depending on how you look at it.

I know I have a habit of trying to do too much too soon.  But I don’t really know any other way to do it.  If I say I’m only making small changes here and here – then I end up going overboard there and there, and I justify it to myself by saying – well, I stuck to what I said…  It just doesn’t work.  Not for me anyway.  I have tried the monthly challenges – and never make it past the first week, if I make it that far. 

This is when I start doing some soul-searching, and reliving some of my history.  What works and what hasn’t?  Where have I been successful, and where have I failed?  If I’m 100% honest with myself, what do I love and hate?  What are foods that I just can’t say no to?  And then we draw some lines in the sand. 

If I’m honest – I love the IDEA of running – but I don’t really LOVE running.  And winter is coming, and I don’t like the cold or running on a treadmill.  And maybe once I get down to a more manageable weight, I will enjoy it more – but for now – NO.  No C25Ks this time around.  Maybe in the spring, we can re-visit.  I do enjoy lifting weights – but not sure that only lifting is the best option for me right now. 

If I go back, and really think about it – the most successful I have ever been was using Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.  It’s 30 minutes, and I can do it at home.  It makes the excuse thing hard to do.  I have a TV and I spend more than 30 minutes at my house every day.  I should be able to manage that.  Not should – WILL.  I WILL MANAGE THAT.   If I decide to go to the gym during work – I will do the 30 minute circuit training (like days we have the kids where I’m running around crazy and don’t get home until 9 at night). 

As for food – I need to be honest with myself here too.  I am horrible at counting calories.  I’ve used MFP for years – and 9 times out of 10, I ignore the alert reminding me to  log my calories for the day.  It’s easy to do – I’m just lazy!  I really need to make an effort here, and be aware of what I am putting in my body.  I have the app on my phone, and I really am going to try to do better.  I also need to get back to just flat out making better choices.  I need to chill out on the fast food and eating out.  I will cut that back to once a week.  The rest of the days I need to pack my lunch, and have frozen meals at home ready to go.  I need to spend Sundays prepping food for the week – and get rid of those excuses as well.  No more “There’s nothing to eat – I’ll just make Nachos”. 

One more thing to be honest about – I am  horrible at consistently checking in here.  I will try to do better there too. 

I’ve stopped one thing that would have killed me – now it’s time to attack another.  Obesity will not be the death of me.    There are 16 weeks to the New Year – if I lose 2 pounds per week from now until then – I can hit the New Year 32 pounds lighter.  If I lose 3 pounds per week – that jumps to 48.  I could be in ONEderland by January.  I just have to commit.  That’s it. 

I have drawn my line in the sand.  Happy Anniversary to me.