Mid- Week Progress update

This week has and hasn’t been difficult.  Some things were easy to drop, or pick up.  Others have been much more difficult.  I’ve been using protein shakes as a meal replacement for my breakfast and lunch.  It’s been easy to drink more water – it’s been harder to pass on the Pepsi.  This only seems to bother me a dinner time though.  It’s been hard to ignore the Easter Baskets filled with all the chocolatey goodness – but so far, I’ve been successful.  I haven’t eaten out – but it has only been two days.  The first night, I had leftovers – which wasn’t the greatest choice ever.  I ended up over my calorie goal by about 275 calories.  Yesterday I was under my calorie goal.  The days have to balance out, right?

I’ve been using 30 minutes of my lunch to walk each day – just to try to get some extra steps in.  I missed the squat/pushup challenge last night.  I can honestly say I thought about it multiple times, but never did it.  Now, the plan is to double up tonight.  I did get 72 minutes of walking in  - and got my husband and our dogs to go with me for our evening walk.  My Fitbit says I took 7,088 steps yesterday.  I am going to try to beat that number a little bit each day – with the eventual goal of hitting 10k steps daily.  Its supposed to be beautiful here today.  I am hoping to try to get a run in tonight, in addition to my double dose of squats and pushups. 

So far – my biggest issue has been saying NO to the mindless snacking at night when I’m bored or watching TV.  I don’t need it.  I’m not even hungry.  But I want it.  I crave it.  I get depressed and even irritable about it.  I keep telling myself that I’m detoxing or something.  Its craving sugars or carbs – or just having something to do with my hands.  I’ve been able to say no so far – but it’s something I really struggle with.  I am also assuming that this is something that will get easier with time. 

I want so very badly to get on the scale.  I want to be below 250.  I want to see that the changes I’ve been making are doing something.  But I don’t want to know.  I don’t want to weigh myself only to find that there is no change – or worse – an increase.  It’s a double edged sword.  Oh – and it’s only been two days.  But I’m impatient – and I want results yesterday.  But this is real life, and not a reality TV show.  I don’t have a personal chef cooking for me, or 8-10 hours a day to spend at the gym, or a personal trainer  in my face keeping me focused.  I only have me and my reflection, and I’ve already said I don’t get along with the reflection in the mirror.  So it’s just me.  And I’m human.  And I keep putting off taking a “Before” picture.  That’s one reality I just don’t want to face.  And one more that I just need to. 

I’m a work in progress.