This is my place to rant...

And I am going to RANT today.  Be forewarned… I am on day 7 of a head splitting open with an ax migraine.  So I am sure this does not help my mood.  BUT – I am pissed, about several things actually.  And since this is my weight loss blog, we’ll start there. 

I joined the gym.  We all know that by now.  I have not set foot in that place in two weeks.  GRANTED – I have had the migraine that had me bed-ridden while not at work for several days.  However there were days that I felt up to working out, wanted to, and my plans were changed FOR me.  I feel like I am being sabotaged at every turn.  For example – last night.  I told Matt that I NEEDED – not wanted – NEEDED to go work out.  No problem.  Until he informs me that Brian is coming to the house to drop his boat off.  He needs some work done to it, and Matt is going to do it for him.  AND – Brian is bringing Jameson with him – their 6 month old son.  The boys are going to have to run to the store to pick up some supplies, and would I mind watching Jameson?  Hells NO!!  I love that kid – and I haven’t seen him in a while.  I would LOVE to spend some time with him.  They should be done by 6, and I can go work out….  SA-WEET!!!  Yeah, except for the fact that Brian didn’t show up until 6.  I could have gone to the gym right after work – but instead, I am sitting around my house waiting for them to show up.  The boys leave to go to the store, and don’t get back until 8.  They have bought steaks, and Brian is staying for dinner.  Guess who has to cook?  By the time I cook, we eat, and Brian leaves, it is 9:30.  I get up at 5 am.  I am exhausted, and now – there is no way in hell I am going to the gym. 

Okay – Fine.  I only have to get 3 workouts in per week for the NROLFW.  I will bump it to Tuesday.  I have a doctor’s appointment today at 3:45.  I have to make up my time at work the next three days by staying an extra 10 minutes each of the next 3 days.  I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but with traffic in downtown Cincinnati – that 10 minutes means a whole hell of a lot.  By the time I am seen, go to the pharmacy, and get home, it’s probably going to be around 5.  I was JUST NOW informed that little man has a baseball game tonight.  At 6.  Um, WTF happened to having a schedule, so we would KNOW when games are?!?!  Now, I am not going to have time to work out before his game, and we get the kids back tonight.  I have two options here.  Either 1 – I don’t spend any time with my kids, and go to the gym directly after the game, or 2 – wait until they go to bed and go to the gym at 9 tonight.   

Now here’s the kicker.  Madie’s soccer coach just emailed me.  They have rescheduled her soccer game for this upcoming Sunday to Thursday at 6.  And they have rescheduled her soccer game from this past Sunday for Friday at 7.  In KENTUCKY.  So – NO workout Monday, Tuesday, Thursday or Friday.  Unless I get up at 4am and go, or go workout at 10 at night.  I am already sleep deprived.  As it is, I only get 5-6 hours of sleep a night.  By 9 or 10 at night – I am EXHAUSTED.  But this is the only time I have to clean, do laundry, catch up on bills, etc.  So when exactly am I supposed to work out?!?!  Especially if I take a rest day in between each of the workouts as the book suggests.  Then Matt will make some snarky comment about how I haven’t been to the gym.  If I take ONE SIP of a Mt. Dew, his is on my ass like white on rice.   

I am beyond frustrated.  I am NOWHERE close to where I wanted to be for the June 1^st weigh-in.  I’m not losing anything.  I can’t find the time to work out.  I am seriously >thisclose< to getting back on my water and carrots diet.  I’m not stupid – I know it won’t work – and I am not going to do it.  I am just venting - so let me vent.    

I know better than to give up, because this is something I have wanted so much for so long.  But it’s exhausting.  And frustrating.  And embarrassing, and all I want is a quick fix.  I want it GONE.  There is not enough hours in the day and I am tired of feeling like this.