So today is the one year anniversary of my quitting
smoking. A WHOLE YEAR.
It’s not even hard.
Yes – there are some days that I dream about smoking (usually when I
have a migraine) – but for the most part – it’s like I never smoked in my
life. And while I am SO SUPER PROUD of
myself – it came with a glaring price – a whopping 22 pounds.
That’s right. I
gained 22 pounds since this day last year.
There may have been other contributing factors – change in birth
control, change in migraine meds, lack of diet, exercise, and discipline – but 22
pounds nonetheless.
I’m there. I want to –
I’m aware of it. I think about doing it
all the right way – and I just make the wrong choices – because it’s easy to
make the wrong choice. Today is an acknowledgement
of that. I make the wrong choices, and I
make excuses, and I know that I am doing it when I do it. And it’s time to stop – or start – depending on
how you look at it.
I know I have a habit of trying to do too much too
soon. But I don’t really know any other
way to do it. If I say I’m only making
small changes here and here – then I end up going overboard there and there, and
I justify it to myself by saying – well, I stuck to what I said… It just doesn’t work. Not for me anyway. I have tried the monthly challenges – and never
make it past the first week, if I make it that far.
This is when I start doing some soul-searching, and reliving
some of my history. What works and what
hasn’t? Where have I been successful,
and where have I failed? If I’m 100%
honest with myself, what do I love and hate?
What are foods that I just can’t say no to? And then we draw some lines in the sand.
If I’m honest – I love the IDEA of running – but I don’t
really LOVE running. And winter is coming,
and I don’t like the cold or running on a treadmill. And maybe once I get down to a more manageable
weight, I will enjoy it more – but for now – NO. No C25Ks this time around. Maybe in the spring, we can re-visit. I do enjoy lifting weights – but not sure
that only lifting is the best option for me right now.
If I go back, and really think about it – the most
successful I have ever been was using Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. It’s 30 minutes, and I can do it at home. It makes the excuse thing hard to do. I have a TV and I spend more than 30 minutes at
my house every day. I should be able to
manage that. Not should – WILL. I WILL MANAGE THAT. If I
decide to go to the gym during work – I will do the 30 minute circuit training
(like days we have the kids where I’m running around crazy and don’t get home
until 9 at night).
As for food – I need to be honest with myself here too. I am horrible at counting calories. I’ve used MFP for years – and 9 times out of
10, I ignore the alert reminding me to
log my calories for the day. It’s
easy to do – I’m just lazy! I really
need to make an effort here, and be aware of what I am putting in my body. I have the app on my phone, and I really am
going to try to do better. I also need
to get back to just flat out making better choices. I need to chill out on the fast food and
eating out. I will cut that back to once
a week. The rest of the days I need to
pack my lunch, and have frozen meals at home ready to go. I need to spend Sundays prepping food for the
week – and get rid of those excuses as well.
No more “There’s nothing to eat – I’ll just make Nachos”.
One more thing to be honest about – I am horrible at consistently checking in
here. I will try to do better there
too.
I’ve stopped one thing that would have killed me – now it’s
time to attack another. Obesity will not
be the death of me. There are 16 weeks to the New Year – if I
lose 2 pounds per week from now until then – I can hit the New Year 32 pounds
lighter. If I lose 3 pounds per week –
that jumps to 48. I could be in
ONEderland by January. I just have to commit. That’s it.
I have drawn my line in the sand. Happy Anniversary to me.
