Not again...

It’s been a while again.  I have been having some health issues lately.  My migraines have been out of control.  I have been in bed for weeks at a time, have tried more medications than I can count, have been through countless tests – and my head still hurts.  One of the biggest things that they have done is changed my birth control multiple times because the hormones trigger severe migraines.  So I had one last stop before the IUD or getting my tubes tied – to the depo shot. It is well documented that one of the main side effects of the shot is weight gain.  OF COURSE this would hit me.  I don’t know the exact number, because I haven’t been back to the OBGYN, but based on the number at the Family Doc last week, I’m guessing I’ve put on about 20 pounds in about 6 weeks.  On November 24^th, I weighed in at my heaviest in YEARS – 244.  I haven’t had a period in a while, and probably won’t because of the shot.  I was on crazy meds because of the migraines. So I don’t know if I was holding water because of one or both, or if it’s all from the shot, but I was devastated.  244 pounds.  How did I let it get to this again? 

 

I have got to be realistic.  Now is the time of year when I am the worst.  I suffer from seasonal depression.  I want to crawl in a hole and come out in April.  I don’t want to do anything other than lay on the couch under a blanket.  I can’t set myself up to fail – again.  I can’t say I’m going to work out 5 days a week when I know I’m not going to, so I want to start with small goals.  Drink more water.  Walk 15 minutes a day.  Something.  Anything.  I just can’t.  I won’t.  I won’t start out 2016 over 240 pounds.  I won’t.  Today, didn’t wake up with a headache, and I brought my water.  Today, I will meet my water goals, and walk for 15 minutes.  Today, I will start again.