Yes, you read that right ladies and gents - I have officially quit smoking.
I think.
I have been on Chantix for a little over two weeks now. Today is my official quit day. I have not had a cigarette since 11:30pm last night. I've had a few cravings today - but so far, I've beaten them all. In fact, I was/am so confident in myself, I didn't even bring cigarettes with me today. I do have my e-cig with me, but I haven't used it. I've held it - but haven't actually used it.
I am scared. I have been a smoker for 20 years - and only being 32, that's saying something. I don't know who I am as a non-smoker. I'm sure I'm the same person - maybe just not as smelly - but what if I'm not? My husband is a smoker (and also plans to quit, but wanted to see if the Chantix worked for me). Can I be successful while he is still smoking? Will I think he smells bad? Will it cause issues in our relationship?
And oh my dear God - the weight gain. One of my best friends just told me (literally, 5 minutes ago) that she gained 18 pounds when she quit. Not to mention the fact that one of the reasons I haven't been posting a lot lately is that there is no news to report. I'm not losing anything. The last time I got on the scale I was still 226. I measured myself today, and I'm still the same in all the places that matter (to me). So if I'm eating right, working out, not losing weight, and quitting smoking....
I. Can't. Even.
Just thinking about it is stressing me out, and making me want a cigarette. I have Jolly Ranchers, Blow Pops, and gum. And yes, I know the calorie count of each.
I am freaking out. Wish me luck.
